Spreading Christmas Cheer
There's a word that I loathe. Of all the words that I loathe, this one now safely takes the spot of number one. (see below)
Disasterous words that make my mind ache and my ears ring:
10. schnoze (nose)
9. otay (okay, with a 't' instead of a 'k')
8. yummy (as in, "That sounds so yummy to eat")
7. hyper (as in, "I'm so hyper from all of the Starbucks I have been drinking)
6. professional (as in, "Try being less childish and more professional" Which really means, stop having fun and act like you are better than everyone else)
5. Giggidy. (Funny when Quagmire says it, not funny when you say it)
4. gay (as in, "That's so gay" or "Dude, quit being gay")
3. humps ("my hump, my hump my hump. my lovely lady lumps.")
2. Kwinky-dink ("You have a red dress like me! That's such a kwinky-dink)
1. Christma-hanza-kwan-ika (nothing in parenthesis, rant to follow below)
This word that is supposed to mean "have a happy holiday, regardless of what you celebrate this season" makes my blood boil. And do you know what? I am a Christian and I do believe in Jesus, but I tell you what, I don't believe that a holiday that has pagan origins should be confused with Jesus. I am angry at two main groups of people, which is why I suppose this word leaves me fuming.
Group One
The people that think this is somehow a new way to create a conglomeration of religions and that this is the new greeting to people so that you don't fuck up and tell someone who is Jewish "Merry Christmas." The bat signal lights the sky outside because even Comissioner Gordon knows that the only reason Chris---------ka was started is because Virgin Mobile had the keen concept that if they could convince all people that they were included in this ridiculous feast of commerciality (you better believe that I just created a new word) that they too would now feel the obligation to buy for friends, family, and gods. If it's Chrisma-----ka, then no one has an excuse to be benched during this game day race. What could be worse than that, Batman? The fact that people are stupid enough to buy into it. This is worse than swatch watches and slouched socks. Holy pathetic trend, Batman! Is it possible that people and not just corporations are going to actually tell their friends and family Merry Christ------waka? You mean to tell me that you can't remember that your best friend, the one who you have known since you were to, the one that has come to your house for the Christmas party for the last eight years actually celebrates Kwanza and not Christmas? Your long term memory is so pathetic that you can't come up with the answer when wishing people a happy holiday? You can't figure it out? Too much pressure not to fuck up, huh? Dont' want to mess up the biggest play of the game? How many people out there are going to lose thier minds if someone accidentally messes up and says "Happy Chanukah" instead of "Merry Christmas." Oh, this language is a fine way for all of us to be unintrusive and lazy. Don't inquire what people do or don't celebrate. Don't take time to get to know people. Make lame wild assertions with stupid phrases. And I thought supercalifragalisticexpialadocious was stupid. Imagine someone seeing Mary Poppins and actually now using that phrase when trying to sound precocious. Fun times. When, my friends, will we learn that we don't have to do everything that the t.v. tells us to?
Group Two
Christians who are trying to argue that Jesus has been taken out of the season. And do you know what? They are right. But they are right for the wrong reasons. In previous rants, I have wasted emotional energy on how it is silly that we celebrate on a day that is not actually Jesus' birthday, just so that we could align with the pagans back in the 300s. Ever since then, 300 A.D., Christmas has been about feeding lies to the masses. Please, those of you that keep trying to yell that "Jesus is the reason for the Season, " please from a fellow Christain, please stop. We don't want Jesus commercialized. We don't want Toys 'R' Us marketing mangers and showing the "California Raisin True Christmas Story." While idealogically, this would be beneficial, there is something about Capitalism that makes everything it touches cheap. I hate the word Chrisma----hanik---a worse than I think any other human on this planet, but don't condemn it because it took Jesus out of Christmas, that damage was done long ago. I'm not saying don't celebrate Jesus' birth, but please don't ask for the real Christmas story to be subjected to any more torture. Leave the PC bastards alone. And the biggest reason to leave them alone? Because you know, at its core, it's just about giving. And loving. And even if this word somehow rears its head on Wikipedia two years from now and becomes a staple in our society, at least we will try to be a giving culture and a loving culture and that will be okay. Although I just may have to take a hanger to my eardrums if that is the case.
In the words of Buddy the Elf, "there's room for everyone on the nice list" so I guess I'll just hope that after all of my complaining that I am still there. Oh look! I still am!
Disasterous words that make my mind ache and my ears ring:
10. schnoze (nose)
9. otay (okay, with a 't' instead of a 'k')
8. yummy (as in, "That sounds so yummy to eat")
7. hyper (as in, "I'm so hyper from all of the Starbucks I have been drinking)
6. professional (as in, "Try being less childish and more professional" Which really means, stop having fun and act like you are better than everyone else)
5. Giggidy. (Funny when Quagmire says it, not funny when you say it)
4. gay (as in, "That's so gay" or "Dude, quit being gay")
3. humps ("my hump, my hump my hump. my lovely lady lumps.")
2. Kwinky-dink ("You have a red dress like me! That's such a kwinky-dink)
1. Christma-hanza-kwan-ika (nothing in parenthesis, rant to follow below)
This word that is supposed to mean "have a happy holiday, regardless of what you celebrate this season" makes my blood boil. And do you know what? I am a Christian and I do believe in Jesus, but I tell you what, I don't believe that a holiday that has pagan origins should be confused with Jesus. I am angry at two main groups of people, which is why I suppose this word leaves me fuming.
Group One
The people that think this is somehow a new way to create a conglomeration of religions and that this is the new greeting to people so that you don't fuck up and tell someone who is Jewish "Merry Christmas." The bat signal lights the sky outside because even Comissioner Gordon knows that the only reason Chris---------ka was started is because Virgin Mobile had the keen concept that if they could convince all people that they were included in this ridiculous feast of commerciality (you better believe that I just created a new word) that they too would now feel the obligation to buy for friends, family, and gods. If it's Chrisma-----ka, then no one has an excuse to be benched during this game day race. What could be worse than that, Batman? The fact that people are stupid enough to buy into it. This is worse than swatch watches and slouched socks. Holy pathetic trend, Batman! Is it possible that people and not just corporations are going to actually tell their friends and family Merry Christ------waka? You mean to tell me that you can't remember that your best friend, the one who you have known since you were to, the one that has come to your house for the Christmas party for the last eight years actually celebrates Kwanza and not Christmas? Your long term memory is so pathetic that you can't come up with the answer when wishing people a happy holiday? You can't figure it out? Too much pressure not to fuck up, huh? Dont' want to mess up the biggest play of the game? How many people out there are going to lose thier minds if someone accidentally messes up and says "Happy Chanukah" instead of "Merry Christmas." Oh, this language is a fine way for all of us to be unintrusive and lazy. Don't inquire what people do or don't celebrate. Don't take time to get to know people. Make lame wild assertions with stupid phrases. And I thought supercalifragalisticexpialadocious was stupid. Imagine someone seeing Mary Poppins and actually now using that phrase when trying to sound precocious. Fun times. When, my friends, will we learn that we don't have to do everything that the t.v. tells us to?
Group Two
Christians who are trying to argue that Jesus has been taken out of the season. And do you know what? They are right. But they are right for the wrong reasons. In previous rants, I have wasted emotional energy on how it is silly that we celebrate on a day that is not actually Jesus' birthday, just so that we could align with the pagans back in the 300s. Ever since then, 300 A.D., Christmas has been about feeding lies to the masses. Please, those of you that keep trying to yell that "Jesus is the reason for the Season, " please from a fellow Christain, please stop. We don't want Jesus commercialized. We don't want Toys 'R' Us marketing mangers and showing the "California Raisin True Christmas Story." While idealogically, this would be beneficial, there is something about Capitalism that makes everything it touches cheap. I hate the word Chrisma----hanik---a worse than I think any other human on this planet, but don't condemn it because it took Jesus out of Christmas, that damage was done long ago. I'm not saying don't celebrate Jesus' birth, but please don't ask for the real Christmas story to be subjected to any more torture. Leave the PC bastards alone. And the biggest reason to leave them alone? Because you know, at its core, it's just about giving. And loving. And even if this word somehow rears its head on Wikipedia two years from now and becomes a staple in our society, at least we will try to be a giving culture and a loving culture and that will be okay. Although I just may have to take a hanger to my eardrums if that is the case.
In the words of Buddy the Elf, "there's room for everyone on the nice list" so I guess I'll just hope that after all of my complaining that I am still there. Oh look! I still am!
posted by Unequivocal_Prowess at 2:52 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home