Losing an Invisible Friend

There's an elephant in the room.

Dr. Randy Pausch says if there's an elephant in the room, to address it. Any by the way, on an unrelated note, I think this guy is amazing and it's well worth your time to never return here, but rather to play around in his website. His last lecture is phenomenal, and I barely deserve to be quoting him.

She's a pretty elephant. She wears a pink tutu. And ballet slippers. And she keeps beautiful eyelashes.

So, when I do as advised and adress the elephant, I find that she adores that kind of attention. What 1/2 ton balerina wouldn't? She loves me to talk about her, so I address her expecting her to go away, but she stays. And she will not be ignored.

I try but she stamps her feet and wails through her trunk. She's a diva, I know. The more she kicks, the less I eat. (whoo hoo?)

The more I poop. (uh oh)

And...worse. I woke up this morning knowing the diva must die.

I'm strangely addicted to her presence, even though she physically makes me ill.

I don't know how I'll kill her, or know if I am even able to accomplish this task, but one thing is certain, either I kill her or she kills me.