Taking Survey
So there's been two things on my mind lately, both of which are largely unrelated, but hey I thought now might be the time to poll the small audience of peeps that I have out there to ask for thoughts or advice.
Scenario #1 The Lost Friend
The first is concerning an old friend. He was my best friend throughout my entire high school years and then we were still close at the beginning of college until we managed to mess things up severely by dating. Post this kind of akwardness, there was distance between us for about 3 months and then he disappeared for a couple of months. I almost refuse to go into the details of how all of this played out, but needless to say, at the end of the day we (some of his other friends and I) found him still in OKC but distant from his family and still not speaking to any of us. The end result was that he fled to avoid telling all of us that he was gay. I have thought of him for years, and I have kept up with his wherabouts based on the rumors of people-from his travels to Dallas and back-and through various jobs in the city. I recently again ran into someone who is still in close contact with one of his sisters and she said that he has a "My Space" page and her recommendation was to tell me to go check it out and see if he responds. I honestly don't know how I feel about this. I really miss him and I miss his friendship, but inevitably alot has changed between us.
Part of me wants to contact him to tell him that I love him dearly as a friend and that I would never reject him, but I don't know that any of that would even be relevant to him anymore. As a matter of fact, I don't know that he would want to confront such a painful portion of his past. I know that it would be nice to resolve some of that past, but I also don't know how a possible future friendship would precede. I've been hanging onto this information for about 2 weeks now, but I have yet to do anything. Suggestions welcome.
Scenario #2 Starting a Journal
I am more up in the air with this because I am worried about the "cheese" factor. Kate, you reminded me of this when you were talking about reading your grandparents' journals. I was thinking of how little I wanted to listen to my mother when I was going through the obnoxious pre-teen phase and how she had tons of really awesome advice that I just wasn't able to listen to because I always thought that her advice was biased against my friends or my boyfriend, etc. And I started wondering what it would be like to start a journal for my little girl. One that just carried my thoughts about womanhood, life, love, honesty, etc etc...You know, something I started before I even knew her. Something that is a way for her to see what her mom thinks about life and the world without thinking that what I am saying. There just aren't many times in a typical week that any parent gets to have heartfelt conversations with their parents about values. As a matter of fact, at least in my family, the majority of the value discussions came when an argument was in place and it seemed more like my mother was lecturing me rather than trying to show me what was important. So anywho, I want to do it, but I also don't want it to seem stupid or cheesy. Worth my time? Or just junk the thought?
Thoughts appreciated on either or both. 'Til then I'm still stuck in the house and waiting on round 3 of the weather to strike.
Scenario #1 The Lost Friend
The first is concerning an old friend. He was my best friend throughout my entire high school years and then we were still close at the beginning of college until we managed to mess things up severely by dating. Post this kind of akwardness, there was distance between us for about 3 months and then he disappeared for a couple of months. I almost refuse to go into the details of how all of this played out, but needless to say, at the end of the day we (some of his other friends and I) found him still in OKC but distant from his family and still not speaking to any of us. The end result was that he fled to avoid telling all of us that he was gay. I have thought of him for years, and I have kept up with his wherabouts based on the rumors of people-from his travels to Dallas and back-and through various jobs in the city. I recently again ran into someone who is still in close contact with one of his sisters and she said that he has a "My Space" page and her recommendation was to tell me to go check it out and see if he responds. I honestly don't know how I feel about this. I really miss him and I miss his friendship, but inevitably alot has changed between us.
Part of me wants to contact him to tell him that I love him dearly as a friend and that I would never reject him, but I don't know that any of that would even be relevant to him anymore. As a matter of fact, I don't know that he would want to confront such a painful portion of his past. I know that it would be nice to resolve some of that past, but I also don't know how a possible future friendship would precede. I've been hanging onto this information for about 2 weeks now, but I have yet to do anything. Suggestions welcome.
Scenario #2 Starting a Journal
I am more up in the air with this because I am worried about the "cheese" factor. Kate, you reminded me of this when you were talking about reading your grandparents' journals. I was thinking of how little I wanted to listen to my mother when I was going through the obnoxious pre-teen phase and how she had tons of really awesome advice that I just wasn't able to listen to because I always thought that her advice was biased against my friends or my boyfriend, etc. And I started wondering what it would be like to start a journal for my little girl. One that just carried my thoughts about womanhood, life, love, honesty, etc etc...You know, something I started before I even knew her. Something that is a way for her to see what her mom thinks about life and the world without thinking that what I am saying. There just aren't many times in a typical week that any parent gets to have heartfelt conversations with their parents about values. As a matter of fact, at least in my family, the majority of the value discussions came when an argument was in place and it seemed more like my mother was lecturing me rather than trying to show me what was important. So anywho, I want to do it, but I also don't want it to seem stupid or cheesy. Worth my time? Or just junk the thought?
Thoughts appreciated on either or both. 'Til then I'm still stuck in the house and waiting on round 3 of the weather to strike.
posted by Unequivocal_Prowess at 3:38 PM
1 Comments:
No advice on situation #1, but on situation #2 - TOTALLY worth your time. DO IT! One of my friends from the History department at my old uni recently walked into her doctor's office with a sore throat and walked out with inoperable cancer and 3-6 months to live. She's only now (4-5 months later) started a series of video journals for her son to watch as he grows up (he's a pre-teen), and it breaks my heart... but at least that way Kieran will have something to remember her by. I know that's morbid, and that's not exactly what your situation is, but it can't hurt to leave your child a record of who you were, how you change, and where you (and therefore she (btw, I'm assuming from your post you know it's a girl?!)) come from.
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