Holding Pattern
I interviewed for a job and got the job yesterday. Now I'm waiting for the news that I can be released from my contract at my old job. I'm just waiting now. They have to hire someone new before I can be released from the old job. Last night I was full of all of these regrets, but I tell you, it's amazing what sleep can do to ward off stress.
I woke up this morning ready to deal with today. I don't know at this juncture that I can deal with the stress of more than today, but one day at a time is all I need right now.
I think, despite the title of this little blog, that everyone knows the thing I do worst in this world is deal with change. I put up blinders and get pissy and stressed out. Then, when it's all over, I reflect and think, "That wasn't so bad." It's predictable. Take Camp, for example. I re-lived every grueling moment with you all and then when other people asked me if I liked it or if I would go back, I ended up replying, "We'll see..." as if, by reading my blog you would think that I would ever step foot back inside of that city, let alone on that campus.
DON'T GET ME WRONG, the events that I described were as accurate as my little mind could portray them, but what I didn't post about is all of the days where we had awesome lectures with the kids, or how many cool places Tons of Fun took us to eat, or even just the simple fact that by week 2 I got invited to sit with the rest of the staff and I even joined the Brian McBride Fan Club. I didn't even bother to explain that most of the little things I posted about were resolved the night before my novices got there. Granted, I wanted those things to be handled before I ever even got to camp, but the real moral to the story is that at least they got done.
I think that I treat my whole life the way that Hater treats his movie-going experience. He always tells everyone that before he goes to see a movie, he tries to down-play all of the hype about it so that he won't be dissapointed with the film. I think I down-play every new situation so I don't have to tell you that I'm just scared of dissapointment.
It took all of these words to tell you that I just want to leave my old job and move to my new one and I'm scared that's not gonna happen.
I woke up this morning ready to deal with today. I don't know at this juncture that I can deal with the stress of more than today, but one day at a time is all I need right now.
I think, despite the title of this little blog, that everyone knows the thing I do worst in this world is deal with change. I put up blinders and get pissy and stressed out. Then, when it's all over, I reflect and think, "That wasn't so bad." It's predictable. Take Camp, for example. I re-lived every grueling moment with you all and then when other people asked me if I liked it or if I would go back, I ended up replying, "We'll see..." as if, by reading my blog you would think that I would ever step foot back inside of that city, let alone on that campus.
DON'T GET ME WRONG, the events that I described were as accurate as my little mind could portray them, but what I didn't post about is all of the days where we had awesome lectures with the kids, or how many cool places Tons of Fun took us to eat, or even just the simple fact that by week 2 I got invited to sit with the rest of the staff and I even joined the Brian McBride Fan Club. I didn't even bother to explain that most of the little things I posted about were resolved the night before my novices got there. Granted, I wanted those things to be handled before I ever even got to camp, but the real moral to the story is that at least they got done.
I think that I treat my whole life the way that Hater treats his movie-going experience. He always tells everyone that before he goes to see a movie, he tries to down-play all of the hype about it so that he won't be dissapointed with the film. I think I down-play every new situation so I don't have to tell you that I'm just scared of dissapointment.
It took all of these words to tell you that I just want to leave my old job and move to my new one and I'm scared that's not gonna happen.
posted by Unequivocal_Prowess at 7:25 AM
3 Comments:
hey, thanks for having my blog on yours . I am gonna do the same on mine... and good luck with the yoga :)
The BIG BOSS thanked me for my application and then apologized that I didn't have enough experience to be hired for it -- and then told me to try out for another mgt job (if it opened) and hinted she'd hire me for that one instead.... And then GRANNY, my regular boss, got really angry and wanted to argue with me why I should have the job instead of THE BAD ONE...
And the point of this? Energy. There's a finite amount of energy in the world -- energy to change. I was bypassed, but it leads me to belive that you've got better chances to get your jollies now.
We'll see.
And in the meantime -- let us eat cake!
thanks for the message jana. nice to hear from you again.
you know what, maybe the new job's not the right one for you. maybe there are other vacancies out there u ought to take. who knows? keep the faith.
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