My Nightmare List

Genderist and I were talking last night about how vivid our dreams have been lately. So, I decided to do a dream list of some of the strangest recurring dreams that I have had. I'll leave out all of the nightmares I used to have of the Wicked Witch of the West, but other than that, these are some of my strangest and what they may or may not mean...

1. First and Most Common, The Driving Dream: I have had this dream since I was at least 6 or 7 years old (let's just say from as old as I could understand what driving was, I was having this dream). This one happens started when, before I could drive, I would be forced to drive the car and I couldn't so the car loses control. Once I was driving, I started having dreams that the car's brakes or clutch would quit working and I start rolling faster and faster towards a bridge, wall, or water. Too much fun. Scares the crap out of me every time. See Crash: Means that I am experiencing a shocking situation, or that I have beliefs that strongly disagree with someone, or that I am going to die in a car crash. The crazy part is that I've always thought I was going to die in a car crash. (Too serious for this post, maybe? )

2. My Teeth are Falling Out: This is a new one for me. I started having it last week, actually. It is so embarrassing and it's worse that going to an event naked. See Teeth: Means that I have said something foul that I regret (unlikely since I would have this dream everyday) or that my health is somehow in question or jeopardy. I have also been told it has to do with concern about appearance, which goes along with the health thing.

3. My Worst Nightmare: I had this dream only one time, but it is worth mentioning, because I never forgot about it. I was about 13 years old and I was staying at my Dad's house for a week. I went to bed and dreamed that I lived in a trailer in the woods. There are tall trees and snow everywhere. I run out and this bear is going nuts. He's mauling people and killing and I am frozen to the spot watching. I finally was able to open the door and the last thought I remember before waking was that I would spend the rest of my life fighting the bear. See bear or Polar Bear: apparently the bear signifies a life and death change, a deep introspection, or dealing with aggression, competition, or overwhelming obstacles. What's weird is that I still don't know what it is I fight daily with the bear. Maybe that's why I still remember the dream.

4. The Murders and Death Dreams: I think everyone has also had these. The dream where someone you love dearly dies. Or when a stranger dies. I went through a period of about 3 months every year in high school, I would have murder dreams where I would murder classmates or sometimes family members and the rest of the dream would be centered around trying to dispose of the body. These are the dreams that I would wake up with the most amount of guilt. See Murder or Killing: This means I have suppressed rage (surprise, surprise) that I am putting an end to an old habit, or that I have oppressed rage at the person I was killing.

5. The Strength Dream: This has been recurring for five years. It's a dream about Professional Wrestling or Wrestlers. I am either meeting a wrestler or I am a professional wrestler, or I am looking for one. Something along those lines. I don't think there's a way to look those up, but I know this dream like the back of my hand. It's my strength dream. I always have this dream as a pep talk for my self. It brings out my stronger side.

There they are. There are a few more, but you all will only read so much in a day. Let me know what you dream if you dare. And just hold back on the "I think you are psycho" comments. I definitely could live without those right now...It's good to be back around, though.

All Work and No Play...

Makes Unequivocal_Prowess, much less prowess-like. See? I can't even come up with anything more witty than this.

We are four days away from school and Count and I starting two new jobs.

Four days. And if I had more time, I would count the minutes.

The worst part is that I can't wait until school starts because we will quit doing all of these "professional development" meetings that ultimately amount to bullshit. So, ironically, after the first day of school, I will have MORE time to actually do my lesson plans instead of having to do them at home AFTER I spend an entire day being lectured about remembering to be a good teacher. Why oh why does our educational system continue to demonstrate its incompotence? Ick. Enough, and hopefully, in four days, I will wander back to this world again...

I miss it, and I hope all is well with everyone! J

There goes my hopes

of not being afraid of flying anymore. I was awoken this morning to text messages from the Count to check the news. I have been awake now for a grand total of 80 minutes. I've got that eerie feeling again where I don't know exactly how panicked I should be. Eloquent and I have already been on the phone this morning and it does just tend to leave this creepy feeling to know that here we are again "battling" terrorism. (Do I even put that in quotes this time?) I don't have any thoughts, yet. No political statements. After Bush speaks at 11:30 am my time, maybe I will have more to say. I guess I just wanted to say it feels like going through 9/11 all over again. Watching the crappy news to only get real updates every 4 hours, while the rest is a pounding manipulation of the same 3 sentences. I am open for who ever wants to spark this discussion...

Like A Cat

There is about a million things I need to do around the house and to get ready for school. In the morning, I start my all day trainings pretty much until school starts. So what have I been doing? Sleeping. Napping. Mosey-ing around. Moving slow. And now I'm really out of time. But I absolutely love falling asleep with the t.v. in the background in the middle of the morning. It's so rare that it happens, and the cheerios made my eyes sleepy. Why am I even blogging, when I need to be at the post office? My laziness has hit a new level...

One Year

It was one year ago today that Kasey and I were married. I've been waiting for this day just so that I had a good reason to share some of the wedding pictures. About this time in the morning last year, I had discovered that one of the cakes was missing strawberries. One of my friends, I actually just found out, went across town to retrieve the strawberries from a bakery. I was alone for about an hour while the rest of the girls got their hair done. I still don't know why, but for 48 hours I cried. I have never been so scared. I don't know why, I guess a part of me knew I was growing up.

When I woke up the day of the wedding, I wasn't crying anymore and I was calm, even through the strawberry incident. Kasey, on the other hand, was apparently freaking out. Bridesmaids kept coming in to inform us that he was pacing the halls. He now tells me that because everyone saw that he was nervous, so they kept crowding around him, when all he wanted was some alone time to settle his nerves. This is where I keep thinking about how big of a lie this picture is. He wasn't happy go lucky here, he was scared, too.

The ceremony and the rest of the day went off without any problems. I wish I could post the pictures of Kasey and I shoving cake into my brother-in-law's face, (which is what we did in lieu of shoving it in each other's face), or even the retaliation that he brought upon us right after the toast. But we do have a Bed and Breakfast to report to today, so I guess I can't spend all day re-living last year's event when we have festivities to attend.

I never thought I would say that it's a year later and it still feels brand new. It still feels awesome to have a day to share with someone. I can't imagine what year 2 or year 27 will feel like, but I know that today I am pumped to still be sharing my life with Kasey. And I think this is probably enough mushiness to make everyone sick, so I'm gonna go now. Maybe I'll spend the next post talking about our experience at my in-laws 30th anniversary and how I ate lamb fries, one of which still had some testicular tubing in it...Apparently, there's still a big difference between the 1st and the 30th anniversary...

Fishy! Sardine Flava'

In Harry Potter: The Sorcerer's Stone, the Xbox game, there is a point where Harry eats many a bean. Sometimes he eats (mmm. curry!) and other times he eats (revolting! vomit flavor!) and now screaming in the background with what amazing voice she has, Genderist is calling (Bogey Flava'!) which is what Harry says when he eats boogers.

But funniest of all the funnies, is when he eats the red one and calls out (Fishy! Sardine Flava') in his worst Wales' accent, which isn't even true to HP, but that is another drunken (or am I) post.

All of that to say this: we are drunken beer right now. Drunken alot of it. We are girls. No boys intended. That means we drink what we like and experiment a little. We experimented with the Rasberry Woodchuck Draft Cider. Do you know what it doesn't taste like? Uh huh. Or Mmm. Hmm. You guessed it. Horse. It tastes like a fucking fish tank. Refer to my 1st post ever about what algae and angry fish tastes and or fucking smells like, because we just choked down sardine flavor in a somewhat expensive pensieve pilsner. We are pissed at fished. It is eeeeew. Stay away, flava'.

What is this A Delivery Room? What is this a Delivery Room?

Apparently, I'm just the delivery girl. Here you go. Friends, enemies, and otherwise visitors, I give you another new blogger, eloquent_modesty. (Congrats! It's a boy! {Spank} {wail} {scream}) His new blog The Power Shifted is fresh and brand spankin' new. I know you all have been showing the new bloggers (and old one's, hem hem, who haven't been posting lately...count) the love. So, with nothing much better to post about lately, I continue to be the cheering section for everyone else's thoughts...

On an unrelated note, it is strange how repetitive my blog has been this summer. All of June and July were crappy crappy repetitive repetitive posts about camp and now all of late July and what appears to be most of August are/will be advertisements adverstisements for other people's posts other people's posts. It may just be me, but it feels repetitive repetitive.

If it makes you feel any better, I would be posting something having to do with bastardization again, internally that's how I've been feeling about my blog. My entire world gets filtered through this little world. I cram all of my experiences into this place, but in an effort to accommodate the multitude of readers, I have to edit most of my experiences to make them palatable to those stopping by. I am thinking of abandoning the edit button on this blog (and henceforth intentionally spelling hear here or bare bear or baer any damn way I choose to) just for the sake of returning this blog back to what I had wanted it to be, a place with meaning and damned be the haters (not "The Hater") or the readers who would be angry (not "Angry Dissenter") because I was speaking some shit. Genderist and I were discussing the other day how sometimes our blogs become pukey regurgitations of our miserable or bland days. The posts themselves are bland or inane and, in the end, the blog world becomes another way to lay our stress on the backs of others. Then, because you love us and we love you, we feel obligated to pull out our own watered down generic crappy advice that we would offer and smatter that shit all over as a way to somehow express solidarity with each other's pathetic days. Don't get me wrong, it's actually really fucking cathartic, but for me lately, it's been counter-productive. I'm just saying that for the next few weeks, this thing might get a little weird as I experiment with some new shit. (EM, key words-anger, pit of belly, must have, exchanged sugars, new power, etc...).

And, just to add a little bit of irony to the day, just enough to stick in your pocket and keep it close to your heart, I will go ahead and post the latest update on my crappy life which is: I went to call Old Job today to go ahead and tell them that since they wanted to hold me to my contract that I would voluntarily return without fighting (if you are lost in this, see Holding Pattern) and they told me that they have interviews today and asked me sit in on them. So literally, at THE LAST POSSIBLE second, there's hope that I might get to move to New Job. I like that ending to this post, anyways. There's hope.